Durty Max, he's a Marine through and through
With a pack of Crayolas, red, green, and blue
He's on a boat, driftin' down the old muddy stream
Call of Duty in his hands, livin' out a dream
Crayons in his pocket, whiskey in his hand
A soldier on a mission, in a make-believe land
But the river's real, and the night is long
Durty Max on the water, singin' a crayon song
He's munchin' on red, savin' blue for later
His Call of Duty kill streak's never been greater
But the bottle's half-empty, and the boat's swayin' slow
The river's callin' his name, but he just won't go
Crayons in his pocket, whiskey in his hand
A soldier on a mission, in a make-believe land
But the river's real, and the night is long
Durty Max on the water, singin' a crayon song
He laughs at the world, with crayon-stained lips
His mind's on the game, but his heart takes trips
To the days of the Corps, and the taste of wax
When life was simpler, just a Marine named Max
Crayons in his pocket, whiskey in his hand
A soldier on a mission, in a make-believe land
But the river's real, and the night is long
Durty Max on the water, singin' a crayon song
So here's to Durty Max, on his riverboat ride
With crayons for rations, and a bottle by his side
The game's still on, but the night won't last
Durty Max on the river, just a shadow of the past