Jack Shields - I kidnapped Willie Nelson Lyrics

Well I'd used up all my favors
Pestered all my friends
Had no one left to torture with my shitty songs again

So I kidnapped Willie Nelson
At an Austin honky tonk
I laid him out with an Epiphone and I stuffed him in my trunk

Yeah, I kidnaped Willie Nelson
So he'd listen to my song
Didn't mean to hurt him but he should have sang along

Yeah, I kidnaped Willie Nelson
Guess he's got bad luck
Never shoulda told me that my masterpiece did suck

We'll we stayed up all night drinking
I played the song on loop
Poked him with a cattle prod but he wouldn't change his tune

So I raised my hand to strike a blow
That'd really make him ring
When all to my astonishment the man began to sing

Yeah, I kidnaped Willie Nelson
And he listened to my song
He must have really liked it 'cause he danced and sang along

Yeah, I kidnaped Willie Nelson
What a thing to steal
Says if I release him he will give me a record deal

Who knew an old mans femur
Would be my lucky break
I'll say he heard my song one day and things just up and changed
I'll buy myself a pardon
And he'll sign an NDA
So I get paid

Well the sun began to rear it's head
And we'd smoked up all the tree
So I asked him for some last advice before I set him free

He said "son, your tune it ain't half bad"
"But the words are kinda dumb"
"Quit tryba be a cowboy, you ain't foolin' anyone"

Yeah, I strangled Willie Nelson
'Cause he criticized my song
Shame he went and blew it man, I thought we'd get along

Yeah, I strangled Willie Nelson
Good things never last
Wrapped him up and tossed him down the well with Johnny Cash
Johnny cash