Cheeseburger In Paradise
Tried to amend my carnivorous habits
Made it nearly seventy days
Losin' weight without speed, eatin' sunflower seeds
Drinkin' lots of carrot juice and soakin' up rays
But at night I'd have these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat
Not zucchini, fettuccini, or bulgur wheat
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat
Cheeseburger in paradise
Heaven on earth with an onion slice
Not too particular, not too precise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
Heard about the old-time sailor men
They eat the same thing again and again
Warm beer and bread, they say, could raise the dead
Well, it reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn
But times have changed for sailors these days
When I'm in port, I get what I need
Not just Havanas or bananas or daiquiris
But that American creation on which I feed
Cheeseburger in paradise
Medium rare with Muenster'd be nice
Heaven on earth with an onion slice
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french-fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well, good god Almighty, which way do I steer?
For my cheeseburger in paradise
Makin' the best of every virtue and vice
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice
To get a cheeseburger in paradise
To be a cheeseburger in paradise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french-fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well, good god Almighty, which way do I steer?
He Went To Paris
He went to Paris
Looking for answers
To questions that bothered him so
He was impressive
Young and aggressive
Savin' the world on his own
But the warm summer breezes
The French wines and cheeses
Put his ambition at bay
His summers and winters
Scattered like splinters
And four to five years slipped away
Then he went to England
Played the piano
And married an actress named Kim
They had a fine life
She was a good wife
And bore him a young son named Jim
And all of the answers
To all the questions
Locked in his attic one day
'Cause he liked the quiet
Clean country living
And twenty more years slipped away
Well, the war took his baby
Bombs killed his lady
And left him with only one eye
His body was battered
His whole world was shattered
And all he could do was just cry
While the tears were a-fallin'
He was recalling
Answers he never found
So he hopped on a freighter
Skidded the ocean
And left England without a sound
Now he lives in the islands
Fishes the pilings
And drinks his green label each day
Writing his memoirs
Losing his hearing
But he don't care what most people say
"Through eighty-six years of perpetual motion"
If he likes you, he'll smile and he'll say
"Jimmy, some of it's magic, some of it's tragic
But I had a good life all of the way"
And he went to Paris
Looking for answers to questions
That bothered him so
Fins
She came down from Cincinnati
It took her three days on a train
Looking for some peace and quiet
Hoped to see the sun again
But now she lives down by the ocean
She's taking care to look for sharks
They hang out in the local bars
And they feed right after dark
Can't you feel them circling, honey?
Can't you feel them swimming around?
You got fins to the left, fins to the right
And you're the only bait in town
Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh-woah
You got fins to the left, fins to the right
And you're the only girl in town
She's saving up all of her money
Wants to hit it south in May
Maybe roll in the sand with a rock 'n roll man
Somewhere down Montserrat Way
But the money's good, and the season
Helps to lighten up her load
Boys keep her high as the months go by
She's getting postcards from the road
Can't you feel them closing in, honey?
Can't you feel them schooling around?
You got fins to the left, fins to the right
And you're the only girl in town
Sailed off to Antigua
It took her three days on a boat
Looking for some peace and quiet
Maybe keep her dreams afloat
But now she feels like a remora
With the school still close at hand
Just behind the reef are the big white teeth
Of the sharks that can swim on the land
Can't you feel them circling, honey?
Can't you feel them schoolin' around?
You got fins to the left, fins to the right
And you're the only bait in town
You got fins to the left, fins to the right
And you're the only girl in town
Son Of A Son Of A Sailor
As the son of a son of a sailor
I went out on the sea for adventure
Expanding the view of the captain and crew
Like a man just released from indenture
As a dreamer of dreams and a travelin' man
I have chalked up many a mile
Read dozens of books about heroes and crooks
And I learned much from both of their styles
Son of a son, son of a son
Son of a son of a sailor
Son of a gun, load the last ton
One step ahead of the jailer
Now away in the near future
Southeast of disorder
You can shake the hand of the mango man
As he greats you at the border
And the lady she hails from Trinidad
Island of the spices
Salt for your meat, and cinnamon sweet
And the rum is for all your good vices
Haul the sheet in as we ride on the wind
That our forefathers harnessed before us
Hear the bells ring as the tight rigging sings
It's a son of a gun of a chorus
Where it all ends I can't fathom my friends
If I knew I might toss out my anchor
So I cruise along always searchin' for songs
Not a lawyer a thief or a banker
But a son of a son, son of a son
Son of a son of a sailor
Son of a gun, load the last ton
One step ahead of the jailer
I'm just a son of a son, son of a son
Son of a son of a sailor
The sea's in my veins, my tradition remains
I'm just glad I don't live in a trailer
A Pirate Looks At Forty
Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all
Watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam
And in your belly, you hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream
Yes, I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late
I've done a bit of smugglin', and I've run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last
And I have been drunk now for over two weeks
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I got stop wishin', got to go fishin'
Down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends
And I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran 'em away, they'd come back one day
Still could manage to smile
Just takes a while, just takes a while
Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupation's just not around
And I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown
I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown
Margaritaville
Nibblin' on sponge cake
Watchin' the sun bake
All of those tourists covered with oil
Strummin' my six-string
On my front-porch swing
Smell those shrimp
They're beginnin' to boil
Wasting away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim
That there's a woman to blame
But I know it's nobody's fault
Don't know the reason
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand-new tattoo
But it's a real beauty
A Mexican cutie
How it got here I haven't a clue
Wasting away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim
That there's a woman to blame
Now I think, "Hell! It could be my fault."
I blew out my flip-flop
Stepped on a pop top
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home
But there's booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on
Wasting away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim
That there's a woman to blame
But I know, it's my own damn fault
Yes, and some people claim
That there's a woman to blame
And I know, it's my own damn fault
Come Monday
Headin' up to San Francisco
For the Labor Day weekend show
I've got my hush-puppies on
I guess I never was meant for
Glitter rock and roll
And honey, I didn't know
That I'd be missin' you so
Come Monday It'll be all right
Come Monday I'll be holding you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. Haze
And I just want you back by my side
Yes it's been quite a summer
Rent-a-cars and west bound trains
And now you're off on vacation
Somethin' you tried to explain
And darlin' since I love you so
That's the reason I just let you go
Come Monday It'll be all right
Come Monday I'll be holding you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. Haze
And I just want you back by my side
I can't help it honey
You're that much a part of me now
Remember the night in Montana when
We said there'd be no room for doubt
I hope you're enjoyin' the scenery
I know that it's pretty up there
We can go hikin on Tuesday
With you I'd walk anywhere
California has worn me quite thin
I just can't wait to see you again
Come Monday It'll be all right
Come Monday I'll be holding you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. Haze
And I just want you back by my side
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. Haze
And I just want you back by my side
Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes
I took off for a weekend last month
Just to try and recall the whole year
All of the faces and all of the places
Wonderin' where they all disappeared
I didn't ponder the question too long
I was hungry and went out for a bite
Ran into a chum with a bottle of rum
And we wound up drinkin' all night
It's those changes in latitudes
Changes in attitudes nothing remains quite the same
With all of our running and all of our cunning
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane
Reading departure signs in some big airport
Reminds me of the places I've been
Visions of good times that brought so much pleasure
Makes me want to go back again
If it suddenly ended tomorrow
I could somehow adjust to the fall
Good times and riches and son of a bitches
I've seen more than I can recall
These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane
I think about Paris when I'm high on red wine
I wish I could jump on a plane
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean
God, I wish I was sailin' again
Oh, yesterdays are over my shoulder
So I can't look back for too long
There's just too much to see waiting in front of me
And I know that I just can't go wrong
With these
Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane
Why Don't We Get Drunk
I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin' here
Your voice sounds so wonderful
But your face don't look too clear
So, barmaid, bring a pitcher, another round of brew
Honey, why don't we get drunk and screw
Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a water bed, it's filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen, honey, I don't think that's true
So, why don't we get drunk and screw
Pick it, Coral Reefers, here we go
Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a water bed, it's filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen, honey, I don't think that's true
So, why don't we get drunk and screw
Yeah, now, baby, I say (Lord)
Why don't we get drunk and screw
Pencil Thin Mustache
Now they make new movies in old black and white
With happy endings, where nobody fights
So if you find yourself in that nostalgic rage
Honey, jump right up and show your age
I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache
The "Boston Blackie" kind
A two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
And an autographed picture of Andy Devine
I remember bein' buck-toothed and skinny
Writin' fan letters to Sky's niece Penny
Oh, I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache
Then I could solve some mysteries too
Then it's Bandstand, Disneyland, growin' up fast
Drinkin' on a fake I.D.
Yeah, and Rama of the jungle was everyone's Bawana
But only jazz musicians were smokin' marijuana
Yeah, I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache
Then I could solve some mysteries too
Thin, thin, pencil-thin mustache
Then it's flat top, dirty bob, coppin' a feel
Grubbin' on the livin' room floor, so sore
Yeah, they send you off to college, try to gain a little knowledge
But all you want to do is learn how to score
Yeah, but now I'm gettin' old, don't wear underwear
I don't go to church and I don't cut my hair
But I can go to movies and see it all there
Just the way that it used to be
That's why I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache
The "Boston Blackie" kind
A two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
And an autographed picture of Andy Devine
Oh, I could be anyone I wanted to be
Maybe suave Errol Flynn or the Sheik of Araby
If I only had a pencil-thin mustache
Then I could do some cruisin' too
Yeah, Bryl-cream, a little dab'll do ya
Oh, I could do some cruisin' too
Grapefruit - Juicy Fruit
Grapefruit
A bathin' suit
Chew a little Juicy Fruit
Wash away the night
Drive in
You guzzle gin
Commit a little mortal sin
It's good for the soul
And, oh, it gets so damn lonely
When you're on a plane alone
And if I had the money, honey
I'd strap you in beside me
And never ever leave you
Leave you at home all alone and cryin'
Ten speed
No need
My pickup gets me where I please
Chuggin' down the street
But I'll be leavin'
In a little while
So close your eyes and I'll
I'll be back real soon
"Ah, take it Reefers"
"Ladies choice, everybody dance"
"Here we go"
Yes and if I had that money, honey
I'd strap you in beside me (in your strapless)
And never ever leave you
Leave you at home all alone and cryin'
Grapefruit
A bathin' suit
You chew a little Juicy Fruit
Wash away the night
Yeah, you chew a little Juicy Fruit
It's good for ya soul
Boat Drinks
Boat drinks, boys in the band ordered boat drinks
Visitors just scored on the home rink
Everything seems to be wrong
Lately, newspaper mentioned cheap airfare
I've got to fly to saint somewhere
I'm close to bodily harm
Twenty degrees and the hockey games on
Nobody cares they are way too far gone
Screamin' "Boat drinks" somethin'
To keep them all warm
This morning I shot six holes in my freezer
I think I got cabin fever
Somebody sound the alarm
I'd like to go where the pace of life's slow
Could you beam me somewhere, Mister Scott?
Any old place here on earth or in space
You pick the century and I'll pick the spot
Oh I know (I know) I should be leaving this climate
I got a verse but can't rhyme it
I gotta go where it's warm
Boat drinks
Waitress, I need two more boat drinks
Then I'm headin' south 'fore my dream shrinks
I gotta go where it's warm (I gotta go where it's warm)
I gotta go where it's warm (I gotta go where it's warm)
I gotta go where it's warm
I gotta go where there ain't any snow
Where there ain't any blow
'Cause my fin sinks so low
I gotta go where it's warm
Volcano
Now, I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm-a gonna go
When the volcano blow
Let me say now, I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm-a gonna go
When the volcano blow
Ground she's movin' under me
Tidal waves out on the sea
Sulfur smoke up in the sky
Pretty soon we learn to fly
Let me hear ya now, I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm-a gonna go
When the volcano blow
Now my girl quickly say to me
"Mon, you better watch your feet
Lava come down soft and hot
You better lava me now or lava me not"
Let me say now, I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm-a gonna go
When the volcano blow
Mr. Utley
No time to count what I'm worth
'Cause I just left the planet Earth
Where I go I hope there's rum
Not to worry, mon, soon come
Now, I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm-a gonna go
When the volcano blow
One more now, I don't know (ah, he don't know)
I don't know (he don't know, mon)
I don't know where I'm-a gonna go
When the volcano blow
But I don't want to land in New York City
I don't want to land in Mexico (no, no, no)
Don't want to land on no Three Mile Island
I don't want to see my skin aglow (no, no, no)
Don't want to land in Commanche Sky Park
Or in Nashville, Tennessee (no, no, no)
Don't want to land in no San Juan airport
Or the Yukon Territory (no, no, no)
Don't want to land no San Diego
Don't want to land in no Buzzards Bay (no, no, no)
Don't want to land on no Ayatollah
I got nothing more to say
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know where I'm-a gonna go
When the volcano blow
Just a one more, I don't know (ah, he don't know, man)
I don't know (I don't know, man)
I don't know where I'm-a gonna go
When the volcano blow