Ho ho, you can't catch me
Writing on the whitewash in the lavatory
Whipping out m' pencil when the twilight falls
I'm the man who scrawls "balls" on the walls
When it's dark I take a stroll
With m' little bit of chalk and m' aerosol
Down in the subway, hiding from the light
Scribbling away in the middle of the night
"Queens Park Rangers", "Elvis is alive"
"Dread in-a Babylon", "Gerald loves Clive"
Ho ho, you can't catch me
Writing in the whitewash in the lavatory
'Round the bus shelters and the entrance halls
I'm the man who scrawls "balls" on the walls
I'm an escalator desecrater rattling down the tubes
On the underwear adverts pencilling pubes
Underneath the arches with m' crayon in m' hand
Drawing something I don't understand
I've just written something obscene
In paint in the gents on a french letter machine
Ho ho, you can't catch me
Writing on the whitewash in the lavatory
Whipping out m' pencil when the twilight falls
I'm the man who scrawls "balls" on the walls
But I've never seen a real live lady in the nude
Never played 'hide the sausage', never done something rude
But I can imagine it just as well
And it doesn't really matter if I can't spell
I'll just write about it all over the lav
And people who read it might think that I have
(Done it with a real lady, that is)
Ho ho, you can't catch me
Writing on the whitewash in the lavatory
Whipping out m' pencil when the twilight falls
I'm the man who scrawls "balls" on the walls