I'm just a head case abandoned at random, stranded in dead space
That disassociates like a phantom shadow and spectates
Looks like I've ran outta Ativan to ingest, great
I guess I'll stick with my master plan to accept fate
My world collapses when I focus on mistakes I've made
As every opportunity that's thrown at me just sails away
And every dollar that I failed to save is like a wasted day
This sunshine in a bag will make it A-OK
I'm not opposed to a temporary fix
You gotta do what you gotta do like a cemetery shift, yo
Why am I falling down this endless scary pit?
You gotta leap before you plummet, that's a necessary risk, but
When I wake up my tongue is like sand paper
Got this poison on my breath like I'm stuck in a gas chamber
And it's always the result of a couple of grams later
Tried to eat but I struggled to stomach the bland flavor
I wanna crawl into a hole and die, lock then door then close the blinds
And sleep forever, dreaming of exotic shores and open skies
Sinkin' and descendin' to the ocean floor with open eyes
Driftin' while suspended in this glowin' orb I float inside
And maybe if I wake up I can finally learn to socialize
Without a can of courage so I fight the urge and go get high
Half my life is like these hangovers I so despise
There is no order since the chaos is my only guide
My temples throb 'til I can't bear it, every second stops
Either I'm trippin' or I'm wearing a defective watch
But it can't compare to all these terrible and wretched thoughts
That set me off, pullin' at my hair 'til I reset my clocks
My type of therapy is hit and miss like Vegas slots
The doctor said that my electric shocks are sent in megawatts
And still I spiral into madness, can't connect the dots
I vaguely recollect what happened after twenty shots
When I was young I had phenomenal gifts
I'd swan dive head first into these bottomless pits
With no fear, now I question every path that I take
I make mistakes some of which are on the back of a plate
Now, I'm in an ocean treading water while I die of thirst
And feelin' like I'm locked within coffin that's inside a hearse
I've tried to quit, this time it's different and I'm gonna say
I swear I'm never drinking again, for a couple days
I wanna crawl into a hole and die, lock then door then close the blinds
And sleep forever, dreaming of exotic shores and open skies
Sinkin' and descendin' to the ocean floor with open eyes
Driftin' while suspended in this glowin' orb I float inside
And maybe if I wake up I can finally learn to socialize
Without a can of courage so I fight the urge and go get high
Half my life is like these hangovers I so despise
There is no order since the chaos is my only guide
All he says is kill me, kill me, kill me
He says kill me, over and over again
I wanna crawl into a hole and die, lock then door then close the blinds
And sleep forever, dreaming of exotic shores and open skies
Sinkin' and descendin' to the ocean floor with open eyes
Driftin' while suspended in this glowin' orb I float inside
And maybe if I wake up I can finally learn to socialize
Without a can of courage so I fight the urge and go get high
Half my life is like these hangovers I so despise
There is no order since the chaos is my only guide