ifso - Pencil and Pad II Lyrics

Silly old me
To think this shit could ever come easily
Guess I gotta go harder and bring out the beast unleashed
Swimming through emotions and there ain't no appeasing these
Waters where I'm drowning like I don't even need to breathe
So tell me
God if you're above do you hear me now?
Why this life gotta push you till you just bleeding out?
I know I'm far from perfect, why I feel like you leave me out?
Whenever I'm feeling defeated, nobody here it's just me and
Myself and I, swear it's been that way for years
Self-doubt it plague my mind, it's so hard to break the fears
Don't know if I've gone numb or if I cage away the tears
All I know is I gotta find the way outta here
I'm going through it
My career stagnant, hurts that it ain't moving
Sometimes it feel like my existence on this world's a nuisance uh
Swear this life be testing me
Wake up, my sister getting beat in the room that's right next to me
Depressing me
That shit weighing heavily, but she don't want no help from me
So I just gotta let it be, it's killing me
Don't let em see
How that shit affecting me
Won't let em get the best of me
Gotta keep on fighting till I'm reaching out my destiny
Stress relief
When my pencil etch a scene
Police up in my house while I'm here just tryna get some sleep
Let em see
Just who I am through every beat
If I pulled a pistol on her mans
Would I have the courage to let it squeeze?
Or would I be the bad guy for doing that?
Nah your too weak and you know it
Don't you fool with that
Too cool with rap
How we stuck in the same spot
If you want it my homies bare arms like a tank top
I flame drop
This some shit you can't top
Even if you want it I guarantee that you ain't got
Half of the drive, not half of the motivation
Happily cultivating
Everything I want
Like I don't need no one's affirmation
I'mma get it then go
You don't wanna let him get in the zone
Put on a show
Mama be saying to set it in stone
Let em all know I be coming for crowns
Ain't not a way that we dumbing it down
For none of these clowns
Tryna tell everyone that gone listen
Don't ever go give in
Don't run from the doubt
I tell people that like it ain't a problem for me
Yet everyday I feel my dream is getting farther from me
Thought I'd make just from putting out my heart on a beat
But now I realize how much I was f*cking caught in a dream
Ominously lost in all these bars I'm jotting
Falling farther
Every single second feel the pressure dropping harder uh
My shoulders breaking
But no, I 've learned to take it
I won't ever lose till my mama's life a vacation
Don't cave in
I swear that I'mma make it on my own
Put the f*cking world against me
Face my wrath, they gone behold
Read my verse like a religion
This world feel like a prison
I'm at they necks like the cross that Jesus was on for crucifixion
Use my writing to escape
Guess I got away with words
Got away with words
Got away with words
Use my writing to escape
She say I got a way with words
Got a way with words
Got a way with words
Use my writing to escape
Guess I got away with words
Got away with words
Got away with words
Use my writing to escape
She say I got a way with words
Got a way with words
Got a way with words
Pencil
P-pad