Idiot Dog Brain - Finding a Needle in a Nutsack Lyrics

He was a patient of mine
He spent most of his young life in an orphanage
Whipped and beaten
He saw things no young boy should ever have to see
It was around age nine
Everything started to go wrong for young Albert
He never really had much of a chance
What with his family's long history of mental illness
But even with a terrible family history such as his
One wonders, how does become so incredibly batshit insane

Out of all the patients I've ever had
He was by far the most deranged
People often ask me for stories about the man
And the one that sticks in my mind the most
Well, it goes a little something like this

An abandoned house in a Brooklyn dump
Is where I had him bound and tied
And I knew that I would never be caught
Because I've done this a hundred times
Little boy's backside tattered and torn
At the hands of my cat o' nine
Cooked and ate - took about four days
Goddamn, did he taste sublime

My name for all intents and purposes, is Frank Howard
And I pretend to be a farmer from Farmingdale, Long Island

That was a tough case
I'd defended lunatics before, nothing like this though
He was like a demon in a man's body - evil incarnate
He was declared legally insane
But the judge chose to execute anyway
He gave me a written confession before he died
But I'll never show a single soul
Because it's absolutely sickening

People often ask me about The Werewolf
But I'm done talking about him... makes my skin crawl
Why don't you read the letter he wrote to that poor family

I watch and wait, dreamin' 'bout the day
That I can eat your little girl
Boy did you make a big mistake
When you let me in your world
I am The Werewolf and you made it easy
For me to hunt my prey
I am The Gray Man and I'll tell you now
There'll be no saving Grace

My name for all intents and purposes, is Frank Howard
And I pretend to be a farmer from Farmingdale, Long Island

But in reality; My you've got a lovely little girl
I'm not what I seem to be; I think I'll roast her ass, and eat it with some onions
And all that shit I said before; Cut off all extremities and then I'll toss them in the pot
That was a lie, I'm dangerous; And cook her 'til she's well-done
My name is The Werewolf of Wysteria; I'll involuntarily release as I consume her meat
And I'm hungry; I swear she'll die a virgin
I am the real life Boogeyman; That should give you some kind of relief, I can't fathom your grief
The children that I take stay gone; The thought is so unnerving
Tortured with my Implements of Hell; Watch as I make little Billy bleed, I'll get him on his knees
They cry, they bleed, they die; And paddle 'til he's tender
And I let nothing go to waste; I'll gouge out both his eyes, and right up 'til he dies
Their tender flesh is mine to taste; I'll deface and dismember

Guess the next thing that I have to do
Is make a tasty stew
From pieces of the boy's face
In my mouth, through my gut, out my hole
It seems my toilet bowl
Will be his final resting place