College Video (MV)

The straight edge anticipation is not something most look forward to when starting college
Usually the opposite

No desire to waste away money on cheap beer and argue
Over which Chance the Rapper song was the best

I stayed local
Maybe the worst decision

Trapped with the anxiety monsters that started my terror
Bouncing back and forth between loneliness and a broken home

I knew I wasn't ready
To face the fact that I always knew I wasn't special
No different than the other anxious twats taking the shuttle bus to campus.
The other miserable New Englanders sitting in 3 hours of traffic
For what should only be a 30 minute trip
Pulling my hair out thinking about the next day
Stress and hair pulling turned into fear and vomit

Broken down one day and stranded the next
I had been finished with the constant tax that was being charged on my mental state

I did what I do best
I ran away and hid

Air conditioned naps and cold candy bars from the fridge
Hidden away at my dads shed where nobody could find Me
And discover I was disappointing my family once again

I never went back
I don't think I ever will
I don't think I ever could

I could beat this own way
I tell myself I'm gonna make it but I don't know anymore

I might kick this life's ass or it might blow my brains out onto the expensive curtains

I guess that's up to me
I'll decide
Effort is key
Follow the dreams
Stress free