Absent! Video (MV)

I hate how I look
But they all disagree
There's not much to me
My apologies
I get lost in the
Maze of my mind
Sipping on iced tea
You lazy outta time
Sitting under peach trees
I just wanna save the bumblebees
I just wanna feel the cool breeze
But i can't cuz it's all your fault
It's what you've set up for me bitch
And we gotta fix this shit
And let me rest at ease
But i'm getting ahead of myself
Like i tend to do
Hearing calls for help
But i can't help you
And i wish i could but i can't
And it hurts, And i'm sad
I'm the worst, Am i forcing you
I just wanna heal you
That's what my momma say
To not do but i do it anyway i'm so stupid
I'm so useless why can't i focus on one topic for more than a minute
I'm foolish
Cough up some mucus
Get it out my system
Find a solution, Stick to it
Put your name to it not to close
She'll think your clingy
Stupid, F*ck!
Why don't I cut my veins
So can't move my arms
So I can't feel the pain
I can stay here
And lay away until you say it's okay
As of late i'm been upset
But I hide it and here I go again
On a tangent, i've been absent and I'm so sorry bout it
And you leaving soon
And I'm so mad bout it
But I'm happy for you
No f*cking clue
What to do
Without you
Who can I trust
Who can I not
Pick the scythe up
Wipe the blood off
Who can I trust
Who can I not
Pick the scythe up
Wipe the blood aww f*ck
God f*cking god
Cut my lip on the envelope
Enclose potential hope
Of holding on
Provoke the domino effect
Of giving up, My minds lost
In a meadow infected with fungus
A different punishment
For every one of them
That talked that shit
They'll do it again, It f*cking hurt
They ask why I don't wear my contacts
Because I look better
So it can't see myself
I'm wrapped in my sweater
Told her come whenever
But it took her forever
Moving in a week
My heads checkered
With bleak spots of polyester
Spent too much money on this shit
Grab the scissors
Sever my arm
Center the pain, But I' ll never the same
Hey, so, I can't sing, and all my solo stuff is trash
So like, I feel like I am the lesser member in the group