[ Featuring Ily ]
Each night i get on that scale
I swear the numbers never change
I try so hard they just stay the same
& my clothes get bigger by the day
It's just a bigger hiding space
My insecurities always find me
It's a war i'll never win
It's been raging my whole life
Cause when you're body dysmorphic
You'd rather hide than fight
Some nights it gets hard to tell
If it's a way to loose weight
Or a way to punish myself
& i know it could kill me one day
But it's really not so bad
It's not so bad once you get past the taste
(I'm spiting food angels)
But its something you can't outrun
You will never escape
The pain hurts so much worse
When you wake up to it attached to your waste
Now i'm breathing listerine
So no one suspects a thing
I want to carve out my stummy
I want to be anyone but me
I will tell myself i'll get better
But i now i won't
I will never stop punishing myself
On your behalf
