Headless Relatives - Nine of Swords Lyrics

The sun is due to rise any minute
And I'm still lying here awake
Like a vampire I'm compulsively counting
Tallying up all my mistakes

I've been staring at the ceiling
For hours
Its blankness belies my inner strife
I'm powerless to stop the torrent
The voice that tells me I'm abhorrent
For every failure in my life

Pierced by many blades
But each one I have made
My arsenal is endlessly renewed
For attacking my own defenses
The result of all this violence is
That I isolate myself away from you

I know that you need someone you can count on
As life throws everything it has at you
And I know that my own reactions often
Exacerbate what you're going through

And though I know that I am only human
I can't shake the feeling that it's not enough
Though I try to be understanding
For myself my standards are demanding
My rulings may not be fair but they're tough

Pierced by many blades
But each one I have made
My arsenal is endlessly renewed
For attacking my own defenses
The result of all this violence is
That I isolate myself away from you