Diary Entry Video (MV)

Don't push me now
I'm standing at the edge of myself
This is overwhelm
Would it help if I was somebody else?
And the floor's a sea of failures and my heart's a desert place
Only getting by on coffee with my hood over my face
I can't separate the truth from all the rumours in my brain
I thought that I'd do better than this
I promise I'll do better than this

But I feel like my own mixtape
Caught the ribbon in my zip and now it won't play
Winding slowly cause I'm obsolete
And I hear every track on repeat

Where did it go
That fire that had me burning so bright?
There's no afterglow
Just the emptiness right after a fight
I have jumped without a parachute and wondered why it hurt
I'm sick and tired of running wild then crawling in the dirt
I think I'm still that little kid
Just trying to work out what she did
If I do better than this will you love me?

Cause I feel like my own mixtape
Caught the ribbon in my zip and now it won't play
Wind me slowly in this head space
You could wrap me round your pen until I never run again
And now I feel like my own mixtape
Caught the ribbon in my zip and now it won't play
Winding slowly cause I'm obsolete
And I hear every track on repeat

I was in the woods and there was this little deer slipping between clutches of rhododendrons and long grass and I couldn't photograph it before it slipped away.
And part of me was like is it real if I didn't capture it?
But I felt it.
The way I felt the next song coming.
I don't have that tape anymore but I remember how the songs run into each other.
The click of the record button on my white tape player.
My insides know the smell of pine trees in August.
It's just there.
I can't hold it.
But I hold on to everything.