There once was a time, when you did everything alright
When you kicked the neighbor's tire, Lord, you made my life
When you ran naked through the neighborhood that night
I knew I'd found the one to make my wife
Coming home from work, you had the house done purple
It just tickled me to death, cleared an inspirational hurdle
Then when you cussed that cop, hell, you finally did it good
Sassin' back like I knew you could
Love is blind and beautiful, you can do anything
You're the sun and the moon, Lord hear the angels sing
Floods, Tornados, and even earthquakes too
They're pretty bad, baby, they ain't got nothin' on you
Then you straightened up your act, and got off all the drugs
Found a perfect job, in school you earned A-Plus
Gave birth to twins, smarter than both of us combined
About that time I rediscovered wine
You got a job with Soloman, making the big bucks
Lately around the house, I haven't heard no yuks
'Cause I lost my job after fifteen years, I'd had enough
Thank God you earn good dough
Now I have to bathe and shave and brush on holidays
Do my dirty laundry and hang my clothes up everyday
You're Mother's movin' in to help with the kids
I'm movin' all my stuff, in with the dog