The Great Speckled Fritillary - Security Probe Lyrics

Last night, security probe in the mall
There's trouble again when the new guard
Some Latvian bum alcoholic comes staggering in
He's shown up in no kind of fit state for work
Unprofessionally cursing through his foam-flecked lips
And he reeks of stale cigarettes, coffee and piss
And his shirt is untucked and it's making me sick to my soul
The guy's some kind of black hole
But I'm a girl with nothing to prove
Try and test me if you want to
But don't ever think that I'll lose my cool

"Hey bud, just take the day off and go home
Come back once you've dried out
And return to some kind of semblance of order
And respect this place
Cuz the mall is a bastion of capitalist virtue
And they've paid us quite well to keep it that way
I've had it up to here with all you f*ckups and losers
Who laugh behind my back when I stand at attention
And say 'please come again sir, have a nice day' "

HOPE. LIFE. FAITH. CHARITY
(This little Hitler, I think he wants to marry me)
MARCH! LINE! SNAP TO ATTENTION!
(Follow me down to the block of detention)

Day's done, we lock up the mall and go home
I'm driving alone
And I can see his headlights in my rearview mirror, and following fast
I brace myself hard as he comes up from impact
Then slam on my brakes and swerve out of the way
He over-corrects head on into the wrong lane
Then over the guard rail and down to the river below
I drive home and go to bed solo
Cuz I'm a girl with nothing to lose
Try and test me if you want to
But don't ever think that I will lose my cool