Goodbye Blue Monday - The Sickness, the Shame Lyrics

Another panic attack in a crowded place
Another lightness night in an empty space
I know I'm ill and they're not laughing at me
But I can't shake the feeling that they just might be
Another day, I can't sit down or I can't get up
Another day where I can't talk or I talk too much
Can't shake the feeling that nobody
Knows the sickness, the shame, inside of me

I am a cigarette waiting to be burned
I'm a malignancy waiting to be confirmed
I am a dark cloud waiting to clutch the sky
I am a terminal case waiting to die

I am a sharpened blade waiting to taste flesh
I am a loading screen waiting to be refreshed
I am a fresh cadaver waiting to rot
I'm a throbbing temple waiting to be shot

Another panic attack in a crowded place
Another lightness night in an empty space
I know I'm ill and they're not laughing at me
But I can't shake the feeling they just might be
Another day, I can't sit down or I can't get up
Another day where I can't talk or I talk too much
And I can't shake the feeling that nobody
Knows the sickness, the shame, inside of me

I could try to crawl on, I could try to get by
I could try to suppress these violent desires
I don't think I've got the nerve, don't even think I could try
But, I've got a few arteries and a kitchen knife

I've got no self-pity and no self-respect
I think about suicide more than I think about sex
I guess that probably means that I'm truly sick
I guess it probably means I'm just a bipolar prick

Another panic attack in a crowded place
Another lightness night in an empty space
I know I'm ill and they're not laughing at me
But I can't shake the feeling they just might be
Another day, I can't sit down or I can't get up
Another day where I can't talk or I talk too much
Can't shake the feeling that nobody
Knows the sickness, the shame, the reality
The repulsion, the pain, the hostility
The self-loathing, the torture, the misery
That feeds the sickness, the shame inside of me
Lying inside of me