The Goldcoast Singers - Plastic Jesus Lyrics

"This really has to be the last one
Because this is a song that
We don't have anything to follow it
Because it's a real gasser
This song is based on an incident
A recent incident
Maybe you've had the same experience
Driving along a very busy street
In the afternoon traffic
With honking and screaming
And scraping of fenders
And the sweating and swearing
And dust and noise and heat
And you're just glued to the wheel
And it's horrible
And the honking
And somebody's bumping into your bumper
And then you look
At the car next to you
And the guy that's driving along next to you
Is all cool and calm
And he has an expression of Buddha-like serenity
Plastered all over his face
And you wonder why he is so serene
And then, possibly, you look to his dashboard
And there you see, glowing in the afternoon sunlight
About a four inch high plastic icon
That is apparently supplying this serenity to him
Maybe this is how he heard about it
And achieved this kind of satori
Click"

"Good morning, friends
This is the Hour of Reckoning"

Hello friends and neighbors
How do you do?
We're here to pick and sing
And we hope we bring
Some happiness to you

"Hallelujah, friends and neighbors
Here we are from Del Rio, Texas
Every morning at five-thirty AM
Brought to you by
By the Pink and Pleasant Plastic Icon Company of Del Rio, Texas
Every morning at five-thirty AM in the morning
Hallelujah
Friends, now we have word for you from our sponsor
The Pink and Pleasant Plastic Icon Company of Del Rio, Texas
Hallelujah

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I got my plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark
He's pink and pleasant
Take Him with you when you're travelling far

"Hallelujah friends, yes, you, too, can own one
For only a dollar and ninety-eight cents (no CODs, please)
Del Rio, Texas
Hallelujah, and friends, if you send in this week
Two dollars and ninety-eight cents
You'll get in addition
To your Pink and Pleasant Plastic Icon
You'll get a genuine, stimulated
Pink, Plastic Baby Jesus Television Light
For your television set
With a halo that glows and rotates
Easing eye-strain
And bringing in better reception
And friends (no CODs, please)
And friends, if you do send in for this
This week, without fail
And put in fifty cents extra for stamps
Hallelujah, you, friends, will receive
Every day next week a different
A different member of the Holy Family
With a halo that glows and rotates
A television light antenna
Imagine, friends, the envy of your neighbors
When they come in to watch Mitch Miller at your house
And they see the entire Holy Family
Sitting on top of your television set
With their halos glowing and rotating
Easing eye-strain
And bringing in better reception
Friends and neighbors, hallelujah
What better place for a family altar
Than the top of your television set?"

You can buy a sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to hell

"All together now"

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I got my plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my

"Click"