Gnedds - Searching Lyrics

Sitting in my studio
Where the "goody" go?
Laid with the serpents, now I'm on a roll
But let's walk back
To where I used to go
They all "loved me"
But did they really though?
I used to spend all of my nights alone
I was thinking "when do I get to go?"
I was walking on a thin road
I was hanging, by a thin rope
There's a lot of pain
I don't know how to cope
So I put it on a page, man I don't know
Through the dark days, and the dark nights
Still, I lay awake, in my bed I think

Tossing and turning wonder if it's worth it
The pain that I cause for the pleasure I steal
I was born a slave and the chains that are 'round me
Are holding me down man I wanna break down I need healing
I'm not sure they'll find this appealing
Cause who am I
Just a guy
Tryna find
Purpose inside of the readings and his teachings
I'm talking with God late at night
Praying that I can find the light
I'm just searching for something to feed me and teach me how to live for everlasting life yuh
Who'd've ever thought that the itty bitty boy who
Was running from the monsters inside of his head
While getting beat down by the peers that he had
He would become a man that the demons would dread
I'm sitting all alone while satan threw stones
Praying to God, man, I wanna go home
Bout end it all
I can't take any more
Fighting myself trying to even the score
I hit my man up and said "How do I know
If God is with me, or did he let me go?"
I've spent my whole life hoping that I'd find a home
He said that lights are meant to shine the most
When they're alone