GLEAM - pretend Lyrics

Cut me off; this isn't working
And you treat me like a burden
All this suffering wasn't worth it
All these scars they look perfect

Leave me in the background; leave me in the cold
I cut so deep, baby you can see the bones
And you could rip my heart out bury me in snow
You don't get it, baby I think you should go

Metal to my flesh, I let my veins rip
Put a knife in my mouth, I need a facelift
Blood pooling on my tongue, think you should taste it
Feel like I'm running out of time; I aint gon' make it

And you was faking
You don't feel like me
I look in the mirror; I f*cking hate what I see
I wanna fall apart, you see me ripping at the seams
Can't even make music, baby I just wanna scream
I wanna give up, baby I just wanna leave
Rotting in the field, turn my organs into trees
My blood is in the roots, and my soul is in the leaves
I'm not a f*cking artist, I'm just venting on a beat

Patched up, but I got blood on my jeans
This ain't Lexapro, baby this is Ketamine
Cancel all my plans just to stare into a screen
Waste away my life with Adderall and mp3s

Because of me, I hate myself
Only way to cope is to romanticize my health
You treat it as a trend, but baby, I'm not doing well
You treat it as a trend, but baby, this a cry for help

And you was faking
You don't feel like me
I look in the mirror; I f*cking hate what I see
I wanna fall apart, you see me ripping at the seams
Can't even make music, baby I just wanna scream
I wanna give up, baby I just wanna leave
Rotting in the field, turn my organs into trees
My blood is in the roots, and my soul is in the leaves
I'm not a f*cking artist, I'm just venting on a beat

Like a puppet, you control my feet
You could pull the strings, walk me right into the street
I feel like throwing up every time I try to speak
I wanna disappear every time you look at me
And I'm so paranoid, baby I can't even sleep
I f*cking hate my life, why you tryna' copy me
And I've been feeling sick, baby I can't even eat
I'm nothing anyway, throw my body in the creek