Dearly Departed Video (MV)

Spiders in the corners of my rooms, it used to scare me
Nothin but wheat bread and powdered milk up in the pantry
Thought it was the worst but now I'm thinkin it prepared me
Always keep it pushin for the ones who dont understand me
I was lost child
Coulda dyed me as any color
Open to the world, before I knew better, I knew sufferin
When I look back at what I seen, shit disgustin
Didn't understand what I witnessed, had to let it buffer
Innocence of my siblings was taken by older brother
While you doin chores, dont peek behind barricaded doors
Next childhood stolen was yours
Papa sittin blindfully behind his liqour bottle while it pours
Handin us another beatin while he keepin scores
Still aint know up til this day wether he had remorse
Mama always workin cant be there fa us while we at home
As time passed we lost our connection like broken phones

It's been over 10 years later im reflectin who I is
Lookin back like where did I miss, what do I miss
Would younger me look up to me now seein how I live
Would younger me forgive da new me for da things I did
Can new me look back and move on from the shit I seen
Is new me too cold to be open and let it bleed
Errything taught me ignorance, somethin I really needed
Thas church, ion got no religion that I believe
Poverty taught me how to go hustle until I eat
Broken hearts taught me never to wear it upon my sleeve
Fake friends taught me the closest ones gon decieve
And dis street shit taught me revenge is better than grief
Sometimes I wanna ask god how could he let me shed tears
Or why I've been to four funerals in the last two years
Or why dis bottle my only friend when I need my peers
For years, only thing made me happy was sayin cheers
I'm in a lonely hearts club at the helm of a magic bullet, Aes
More like I take seven shots and then let da bullet chase
Why I'm still winnin, It's more or less how I'm savin face
Eatin stale dinners, so more or less I aint sayin grace
Movin at a change of pace lately
Heart colder, mind darker, hard to say baby
Trust broken, cut throatin, part of me stay crazy
Soul hurtin, dearly departed, why save me
Feel like I'm a sociopath, I don't love right
Partially cus since I was a kid, I wasnt loved right
Grew up way too fast I was a youngin in the mud life
Self reflection almost make me miss my fear of bugs like
Spiders in the corners of my rooms it used to scare me
Nothin but wheat bread and powdered milk up inna pantry
Thought it was da worst but now I know it all prepared me
Imma keep it pushin wit hopes u could understand me
So I hope you could understand me
Hope you can understand me
So I hope yall could understand me
Ugh
Yall got my soul