The Flaming Intestines - Eggs Over Easy Lyrics

Went to a diner for a bite to eat
Don't need a menu when I take my seat
I just grab the waitress by the neck
Tell her "Fill out the check!
I want a protein meal that doesn't include meat"
Now peanut butter just won't hit the spot
Yogurt tastes like a bowl of snot
Don't give me hummus, or mushrooms
Or any kind of legumes
What I want, I want now, and nice and hot

So gimme eggs over easy
And make 'em nice and greasy
Need the protein in my diet
So make it quick and fry it
Eggs over easy
Don't wanna play Parcheesi
If you aren't gonna make it
I'll take your neck and break it

The eggs didn't arrive in a timely fashion
So I went into the kitchen and I started smashin'
Grabbed the cook, broke his legs
"Don't make we wait for my eggs!"
Then stuffed his body in the can that they put the trash in
The guy next to me had a Belgian waffle
He turned and said to me "This tastes awful"
I poured pepper down his nose
Stamped my foot on his toes
And did something else that was real unlawful

Shoulda ordered eggs over easy
They make 'em nice and cheesy
They give you lots of protein
Even more than most beans
Eggs over easy
When waffles make you queasy
The yolks are still all runny
Cooked a little bit more than sunny

Eggs over easy
And make 'em nice and greasy
Need the protein in my diet
So make it quick and fry it
Eggs over easy
Don't wanna play Parcheesi
If you aren't gonna make it
I'll take your neck and break it