Please let me on your English course
I swear I'll do real good
I'll do all that poetry shit a real student should
I'll finish my assignments if it takes me up to four
I'll be the first one knocking on the college library doors
I probably shouldn't send you this because it sounds like ass
But I think I'd be real comfy in your best English class
If you let me do some writing, I think I'd do real fine
I'll sell my soul to your control if you're that way inclined
Leeds, Newcastle, Manchester, any campus will do
I'd fit right in at Lancaster, I'd quite like Durham too
I'd sell myself to rock and roll but once that cash is spent
I need a nice apartment and these songs don't pay my rent
I'd put 3 years on a degree if it finds me a job
Despite the high class texts that make me feel like a knob
How could it happen to be
My statement looks like gibberish
I can't get myself into this
So could you just accept me
I offer nothing but my word
Anything more would be absurd
I really need this degree
Vice aren't hiring janitors
Receptionists, or new interns
I'll even pay the full fees
My money's wasted anyway
On ramen, shoes and takeaways
If this song didn't convince you
Refer it to my source
Frustration, desperation, and anxiety of course
If your doors are feeling open
Take me in for a few
I'll give 9 grand a year, that's how much that I love you