The full reach of our discontent is written out on pages in endless prose
We write and we write
The only form of communication that can escape the endless pose
Funny how we can never speak the truth
But words on a page feel more of a story
And a story finds more truth than the tales of our lives we've orated
So we write and we write until we collapse into drink
Our hands unable to type and our minds unable to think
We collapse and down and down we go
To the bottom of the rabbit hole and beyond
Through the looking glass of our own lives
That we can neither understand nor share
And we collapse, comatose, asleep
We wake and we repeat
An endless cycle of introspection without revelation
We try to see but reach no epiphany
We are no more aware of the inner thoughts of our minds than we were at the start
Only more frustrated and more and more apart
Apart from our own conscious and the people around us
The ones we call loved, the ones we used to lean on
Now so detached from ourselves we can't bear to see them
And now we've collapsed
Collapsed under the weight of our truths
The discoveries we've made we can't link back to the conscious thoughts
From which they were born
Another useless piece of knowledge
Further confusing and compounding the struggle
The depression continues to grow
Now strengthened by our attempts to escape
The depression grows
And it doesn't stop growing for love nor money
Friends nor family
Repression nor therapy
I've likened my headspace to a coastal place
Each thought a wave
I'm protected by the flood barriers of friends
Of family, of help, just anything
But as each negative thought comes crashing closer to those barriers
How long can they last
Eroded already from waves of depression in my past
And then a storm arrives, a tropical cyclone
The waves taller than the barriers fighting them back
Each wave a crash
Against all my support structures that can no longer resist
They collapse and are washed out to sea
And I'm left with just depression for company
The storm will eventually pass, and support will revive
But against that storm of depression, will I have survived