Fear Boner - Mrs. Claus Lyrics

Mrs. Claus, may I get you off?
Ride me like I'm Rudolph
Can I come down your chimney?
Promise that I'll leave you limping

Plus I got a candy cane and I'll leave you wet just like that rain
Yep, it feels fantastic, got a dick that's black like magic
And you know I got this present and I think that you have lessons
That you really gotta learn and if you want to, just wait your turn

With the elves on the shelves and you gotta go and tell
But you can't cause you know that I melted together on my sleigh

Mrs. Claus, she's got it going on
300 years she's been railing the same dong
Mrs. Claus, yeah, she's got it going on
300 years she's been wearing the same thong

Mrs. Claus, you rock my socks
I wanna ask you, baby, what's in the box?
What's in the box?
What's in the box?
What's in your box?
I'm asking you

What's in the box, oohwoah
What's in the box?

Mrs. Claus, you're my special lady
I f*ck you like an animal but treat you like a lady
Ain't no snow here, I only make it rain
Dear to my heart, all your feelings in your brain

Cause I love you, Mrs. C, unlike that jolly fat bitch
You rody, he's so gourdy, so I think you're ready for Mitch
You think I'm gonna take you on a ride on my sleigh, please
We'll be popping Andre getting drunk on my Mercedes

You wanna know what time it is, girl, peep my Rolex
Polar bears watching while we're having crazy snow sex
365 ways, having sex for 365 days

Getting hella head on the holidays
Blanketing you with my sweet hollandaise sauce
Santa's reaping cause he's lost
Your heart is a salad I'm never gonna toss

Mrs. Claus, she's got it going on
300 years she's been railing the same dong
Mrs. Claus, yeah, she's got it going on
300 years she's been wearing the same thong

Mrs. Claus, you rock my socks
I wanna ask you, baby, what's in the box?
What's in the box?
What's in the box?
What's in your box?
I'm asking you

What's in the box, oohwoah
What's in the box?

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, bitches
You think I give a shit about that old bitch Claus?
Ha, ha, ha
I've been f*cking bitches all over the world

Tokyo, I f*cked a bitch
The Alamo, I f*cked a bitch
Alaska, I f*cked a bitch
Nebraska, I f*cked a bitch

Paraguay, I f*cked a bitch
You're a gay, you must be Mitch
The ocean, I f*cked a bitch
Richmond, I f*cked a Mitch

Poland, I f*cked a bitch
Egypt, I f*cked a bitch
Fiji, I f*cked a bitch
Morocco, I f*cked a bitch

Bangkok, I f*cked a bitch
Babylon, I f*cked a bitch
Pangaea, I f*cked a bitch
Mesopotamia, I f*cked a bitch
Atlantis, dinosaurs and Eden, I f*cked them everywhere, baby
I'm f*cking Santa Claus