Maureen, how'd you get my shirt so clean?
Maureen, I think I broke your washing machine
Maureen, Maureen, doesn't have the time for your dirty mind
Maureen, Maureen, gonna show you now if you don't know how
Loves to tell ya that she told ya, blink my eyes, I'm 10 years older
Maureen, Maureen, how d'ya get my shirt so shirt so shirt so clean
I fell asleep, I fell asleep in front of the TV
Clouds of steam are rising up with me, to the theme tune of the lottery
Bleach the glasses, load the machine, welcome to my mind's canteen
I'm only dirty in my dreams
She's the conductor of the lonely hearts club orchestra
A minor key reprise, her to-do list in her eyes
Still three hours to kill 'til the news at nine
She gets on with her neighbours, like Israel and Palestine
But she'll be fine, yeah she'll be fine
'Cos she's the minister of domesticity
User of pop psychology, for her gains
She says 'little boys like you are all the same'
And we are, and we are, and we are, we are, we are
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are
Bullshit proverbs, rustic plaques, alphabetical spice racks
Ornamental rose tea strainers, unqualified lion tamer
Maureen, Maureen, how d'ya get my shirt so shirt so shirt so clean