I am afraid I feel like nothing
Back at it again with this empty feeling
Sleeping badly, getting up at noon
Spending the night blinking up at the moon
I say I'm tired, I laugh about my insomnia
I smile, but my feelings are in apnea
Pretending I can still feel euphoria
When my laugh sounds like hysteria
Everyday I drag myself up, and down
Reimagine my bed sheets as a ball gown
Wearing my bed hair like a crown
I feel like depression Royalty
And no, that's not even rhyming
But I'm way past the point of caring
I worry the feelings won't return this time
But I also worry they can return anytime
For feelings are nice but quite messy
Sometimes I feel safer in my apathy
I know it's not healthy but to be fair
The whole point is that I don't really care
Don't worry, I've been through this before
Think of it as an encore
At least this time I know enough to admit
That even if I can't cry, my heart sure is in it
I rebuilt myself like a castle of card
Built from what was in mind's graveyard
I'll rebuild again if it were to crumble
And I'll be alright, even if I stumble