Enkay 47 - Twenty 20 Lyrics

New year, new me, why does everybody say that
You sneer, you'll see, broken record lemme play that
Why do you tell everybody including yourself that you promise you'll change
And you have the mentality once in a year and you give it a week and you throw it away
What's the point, yeah sit and point, why'd you disappoint
My time is ticking, I might just give in, I get annoyed
Not at myself but at my addictions, I try to quit them, I'm tired of wishing, that I'd dismiss this sinister voice
By myself, yeah by myself, demons tryna to help
I'm paralyzed and I'm scared to die and I'm tryna yell
Prepare the knives and I'm terrified, I think I'm hell
Take my soul I'm tryna sell, might as well, try to fail
I just wish that everybody would notice me, I feel like I'm not the man I'm supposed to be
Leave me alone, I'm not mad I'm just focusing
Pen to my pad and I'm tryna flow to the beat
Negative 50 nobody as cold as me, maybe I'll do R&B like I'm Jodeci
It's 2020 I'm not what I hope to be, it's not about where you are it's what you grow to be
Yeah I don't live in the present, I live in my head that's why I've got a headache
Cuz I keep beating myself up I'm pathetic, and kinda neurotic, I think I'm possessive
Obsessed with myself, I believe my depression
Is linked to my poor self esteem and my ethics
I guess that I'm less than what you'd deem impressive
I know that I'm weak and I've learned to accept it (I'm Nathan K)
I'm writing music inside of my car because I live my life in the fast lane
My life is a movie, I'm giving you tickets so that you can come to the matinee
Tell me now, what does the track say? I don't know, what does the track say?
I guess what I'm saying is I'll be carrying this negative shit till my back breaks
Why can't you just get your facts straight
When I get a track imma castrate
Every single instrument that you've been listening to when you're playing my tracks hey
Honestly I'm in a bad place, I think about life in a bad way
I guess what I'm saying is if you relate to my music and play it, well that's great
Now I'm inside of the door, I've got some new opportunities
If I'm being honest this positive attitude that I've been having is new to me
Yeah, you can play this at my eulogy, work isn't new to me
Verbally shoot at me, permanent's usually perfect cuz musically
I'm just a verbal suburban kid using the abilities that I have to make a change
I know you listen because we're the same, you can relate to everything I'm saying
When you listen to me man you hear the pain, when you listen to me man you hear the rage
This is my history, flipping the page, my vision is distant but it's within range
Difficult to get from Underground to fame
I never knew I could change lives, and do what I love at the same time
Anybody here can make excuses, you wanna be different you make time
That's why I'm climbing the grapevine, the way to fame isn't a straight line
Everybody wants a Superman, the only thing I wanna save's time
I feel like I've got the advantage, I wear my shame like I'm branded
I wear my lyrics like armor, making sure nothin' can damage
Don't be ashamed that your damaged, you'll never be great if you're average
You can take over the planet, yeah you know that I'm wreaking havoc
The last few years of my life were the worst and I don't wanna live my life like a burden
Last year I didn't even know my purpose, ripped my confessions out of my chest and then I burned em'
I used to think that I deserved this, I used to believe that I was worthless
Then I found my worth when I was working, decided I would finally be happy cuz I earned this
I feel like I'm living in the fast lane
This'll be the year that I'll be happy
Living every moment like my last day
I'll be working hard until my back breaks