Emma Castellino - on & on Lyrics

My dad's dad couldn't show he cared
And then the boys start to believe it
But brother know he loves you just the same
My mom's always trying to be perfect
And i always hate it when it starts to be fake
I wish she'd have dreams of her own
Like all men do when they have a home
24 & i'm still new to the game
But i'm always new to the game
I wish i'd known the rules
Before i scared you away
So ashamed of being inexperienced
Always uncomfortable in situations
But f*ck it i need talk about it
Let out the things no one will understand
I prefer to dress up in the men's section
Why does it make me feel less of a woman?
I shouldn't spend a lifetime tryna prove it
At least now i don't laugh when people tell me i'm pretty
And what if i had gain some weight
When i gone off to my first year of college
Everybody tryna be okay with their bodies
I hate to see all my girlfriends struggle with this shit
I wanna stop comparing myself
I've noticed how it's automatic
Why the hell if i'm not the best,
I'm the worst?
Oh i could go on & on & on
Oh i could on & on & on
I never really had a best friend
My sister's probably the closest thing
She doesn't try to make sense of my heartbreaks
She just wants to fight the bitch that left me hanging
All my teachers thought i was a lost case
Then my first therapist tells me i'm a genius
I said "i'm not so sure about this"
But she knew already that's what i was gonna say
I wanna live in a country where people smile
No i'm sorry france isn't that nice
People drain me when they open their mouths
Rant is the first thing that comes to mind
Isn't it the best feeling
Escaping someplace anxiety inducing
But i never have to be somewhere no more
Yeah lately i've been crushing isolation mode
Oh i could go on & on & on
She loves life more than she sings about it
But she hates it more than she shows it
And rhymes are overrated
But you gotta do it right
I love to have a crush on somebody new
And find yourself liking things you never thought you would
Like the girl with baby bangs slaying every look
But she never cared about me like i wanted to
Oh i wanna blow up on the internet
So maybe she'll listen to what i have to say
Why everyone i write about we go the distance
And get obsessed 'til i have to erase them
I've given myself a thousand tries
Since i listen to the 1975
Now i know i need to be with someone
That makes me feel like i am someone
I could go on & on & on
& on & on & on & on & on & on