Ethan Daniel Davidson - The Man Who Couldn't Cry/oh! Sweet Nuthin' Lyrics

There once was a man, he couldn't cry
Hadn't cried for years and for years
Napalmed babies, movie love stories, for instance could not produce tears
As a child he had cried as all children will
Then at some point his tear ducts all ran dry
Crude it be a man, it all hit the fan
Things got bad when he couldn't cry
His dog got run over, his wife up and left him
After that he got sacked from his job
Lost his arm in a war, Was laughed at by a whore
Aw but still not a stiffle or a sob
His novel was refused and his movie was canned
His big Broadway show was a flop
He got sent off to jail, you guessed it no bail
Aw but still not a dribble or a drop
In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
Had to make license plates
Water and bread, was all he was fed
Not once did a tear stain his face
Doctors were called in, and scientists too
Theologins were last, and practically least
They all agreed sure enough, this is no cream puff
Aw but in fact an insensitive beast
He was taken from jail, and placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He made a lot of friends, and they played a lot of chess
And he cried everytime it would rain
Once it rained fourty days and it rained fourty nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
On the fourtyfirst day, he pasted away
He just dehydrated and died
He went up to heaven, located his dog
After that, well he rejoined his arm
All of the critics, they took it all back
Cancer robbed the whore of her charms
Well his ex-wife died of stretch marks
His ex in bar went broke
The theologins, they finally found out
Right down to the ground, the jail house burned down
And the Earth suffered a perpetual drought
(Oh sweet nothin, ain't got nothin at all)
(They threw her on the street, and just like a cat she landed on her feet)
(Oh sweet nothin, ain't got nothin at all)