Ethan Daniel Davidson - Talkin Holy War Blues Lyrics

Well my girlfriend is a Muslim And I was raised a Jew And that's how this here truthful song got the name Of the Talking Holy War Blues

Yes my girlfriend is a Muslim And I was raised a Jew But I never thought too much about where one prayed Or how to who And her parents seen to like me alright They came over here from Iran Though I suspect they'll have a Jihad If they should ever hear this song So I read the Bible everyday and I read the Qu'ran too And though I may not walk the narrow way I found one thing that's true

If you ain't Muslim you ain't Shi-ite I can tell you man it's true It don't matter if you're Mormon Buddhist, Taoist or Hindu It's a simple fact of logic And it came down to me Well I should probably write a book And set everybody free You can argue all you want to You can say it's black or white But the only truth that I've found is If you ain't Muslim you ain't Shi-ite

Now I ain't tryin to be funny I ain't tryin to be cute And every word I'm a-sayin here Is the God's honest truth And our relationship is a sacred trust Well it's never quite a bore And you can imagine when we fight It's real Holy War Cause I was taught in Hebrew School That all Muslims are bad And now we got a thousand years of hatred sleeping with us in our bed

But if you ain't Muslim you ain't Shi-ite I can tell you man it's true Just like C=2*pi*r And the square root of four is two You can look for a counter argument For a thousand and one nights But in the end you must admit If you ain't Muslim you ain't Shi-ite

At night I search her for weapons And I try to pass it off as fore-play She nails me with rocks and says She pitchin for the Padres I say yes God promised all the bedsheets To my great-grandfather Mordecai And it's written right there in the twentieth chapter Of the Book of Deuteronomai Well I set a checkpoint with twelve Israeli guards Right at the bedroom door And though we co-signed on the lease She only gets thirteen percent of the floor Cause if you ain't Jewish you'd better cut out You're not Kosher you're unclean I ain't trying to be racist I ain't trying to be mean If you've got an extra piece of skin Below your belt I can tell you that's your one way ticket On the next bus down to Hell

Well my situation is complicated by the fact That I'm Irish, Dutch, and Native American And if you're wondering why there's not a joke about that Well there's nothing funny about being as conflicted as the United Nations And it was never my intention to offend anyone Though I'm worried this song will be the death of me So I'll probably go into hiding Maybe move in with Salman Rushdie And as the Jews say Shalom AleKHem So the Muslims say Salaam Alekem I say peace be with you And I sing loud and true

If you ain't Muslim you ain't Shi-ite I can tell you man it's true It don't matter if you're Mormon Buddhist, Taoist of Hindu It's a simple fact of logic And it came down to me I should probably write a book And set everybody free You can argue all you want to You can say it's black or white But the only truth that I've found One more time Jesus and Vishnu

If you ain't Muslim you ain't Shi-ite I tell you man it's true Just as C=2*pi*r And the square root of four is two You can look for a counter argument For a thousand and one nights But in the end you must admit If you ain't Muslim you ain't Shi-ite