Enter The Haggis - Bagpipes On Mars Lyrics

I read about a man who'd been

Around the world and back again

Built a space ship in his back yard

And went to mars one afternoon



When he got home late that night

He said the people, they were kind

Bought him drinks and entertained him

And that's where he'd been all this time



But do they play the bagpipes on mars?

Do they have a shrine to Elvis?

Easy payments on their cars?

And what do they know about us?

Do they fly in flying saucers?

Do they have to take the bus?



Well, I got pretty curious and I built a space craft of my own

Blew a gasket and lost my oil a half a million miles from home

Fortunately, a family of martians came a drivin' by

Picked me up, and their daughter liked me

Now we're married and the kids look fine



But do they play the bagpipes on mars?

Do they have a shrine to Elvis?

Easy payments on their cars?

And what do they know about you and me?

Do they recycle plastic

And steal cable TV?



Now I got pretty homesick

So I started up a little band

We got famous - three gold records!

Bought the Partridge family's van!

Got bombed out on uranus

? on Venus

Things got hot on Mercury

That's where I burned my piano



And now they're playing bagpipes on mars

They've got a ? shrine to Elvis

Photo radar on their cars

They've learned everything from you and me

They're hanging out at singles bars

And watching MTV

... (yes they are)