Hate Myself Video (MV)

Let the pain come as we go
Throw my hope out the window
Hanging onto the times back when
I didn't hate myself

Thinking back to 2019 I was drinking everyday
I gained a little buzz I was feeling hella great
Cause Blackout played in Italy that started all this fate
Like That a quarter mil the flow shot up out the gates then I
Booked a show in Chicago
A week later turned inmate in bright clothes
A cheap chaser tried to dictate my life goals
A mistake I can't escape that's how life goes
Restricted by fear addicted to lies
Drown myself in liquor it's a toxic mixture tonight
Hate myself inside zero chance of ending the fight
Only time I feel alive is when I rap on the mic
Ayo all my peers judging and why my family hating?
And when I step in church why they look at me like Satan?
It's like I need saving downing in temptation
Trying to stay afloat from life's trials and tribulations
I'm posting on the internet to motivate myself
I'm faking like I'm happy burning through my mental health
And then I found music learned to smile at some things
I learned to let it all live between the guitar strings like

Let the pain come as we go
Throw my hope out the window
Hanging onto the times back when
I didn't hate myself
Let it all go for nothing
Live it all up for something
Looking back on the times back when
I didn't hate myself

Looking in the mirror got me feeling like it's Halloween
All I see's a mask on a face saying follow me
Walking in the dark strange faces I can barely breathe
Trying to find my safe space mayday I'm reaching deep
Teaching me get some help straighten out your own path
Home wrath breaking all this shit your hurt it's so sad
So mad know you are you're just like him it's so bad
So glad that I never gave up on this notepad woah Dad
I just need to straighten out my act though
Walking out of central broken dreams downed my last hope
Weighing on my mental blood stains on the flagstone
Cocked and ready cause I've been living in the blast zone
Everything with music I did it on my damn own
No after no I went and used that shit for ammo
Fast flow overrated mainstream like its Bass Pro
Task closed ain't impressed with no one that is half clothed
Used to be a class clown but I rap now
Don't care how much they talk man I'll never back down
I finally found peace learned to love and forgive
Just pass it down to my kids let my legacy live like

Forced me down to my last breath
Faced the demons of my death
Now I'm back to the days when I
I couldn't hate myself
Crawling back up from nothing
Knowing I could be something
Growing into the days when I
I couldn't hate my self