Devin Vegas - Distant Lyrics

Tryna keep my composure but keep getting closer to closure i leave when its over
A colder demeanor when people approach ya
A loner need noone to peek in your folder
Only gone care when they carryin ya casket
Hiding they love and they show it when you absent
Die from a drug only then they call it tragic
Nobody stop to think about how this shit even it happen
Magic but yu was right there no prayers when im bleeding
Everyone seem to disappear when you need em
It seem that im grasping at air when im reaching
It be mad dumb done caring im leaving
Grieving but tryna be peaceful and smile
Frequently high cause i need to be blind
And be numb to outrun shit i easily find
Questions and urges im keeping inside
Like the purpose of earth and the meaning of life
After birth we just work then we breathe and we die
What the f*ck is the worth im misreading the signs
All the time you can waste why it need to be mine
Pretend to defend your intentions
Pretentious as friends get
Endless no mention of endings
Real bonds never break some of mine just be bendin
The tension derived from all five of the senses
Sick of getting burnt finna flip no burger
Slippin and i skurt and i hit old mergers
Digging thru the dirt but i get no further
Still a word thatll get you murdered
Say it like i hate em take a life
Prayed and hoped throughout the day and night
That i would make it out or god would make it right
Tried to sell my soul the devil never gave a price
Found it hard to adjust with a arm full of cuts
Jus awful its rough when your hearts in your guts
Plus loves as powerful and harmful as drugs
Im partially nuts from the horriblest stuff
What i went thru is marvel eventful and touching
Fall and get up with no senzu or nothing
I argue enough with you end this discussion
I start to give up till i went and found something
That paused all the pain
Cooked i just look at stars and i gaze
Thought it was great
It was awesome
Amazed with it all for a day
But got lost in a maze
Its hard to explain
Listen i feel distant
Dissing people that im missing
Shit is different
Whatd u do in my position
Wishin i was non existent
Love is a pain that you feel in your heart
It's crazy the distance you teared us apart
Screaming to god that your tired of trying
What can you want when you dying inside
And dont let this get to yu
But yu messing up my mood
This depression nothing new
Cant accept the f*ckin truth
Im still broken over you
And i know thats no excuse
My feelings wont diffuse
Confused as what im posed to do
Dude why do i feel like this
Feeling like life is
Pointless or priceless
Thought it was quite rich
Choices i might quit
Caught in a crisis
Flawed but im righteous
Distraught when i write shit
Ive been
Been been
Been at bat for blast for you changed for you jeez
Never asked you to actually pray for me please
But you make your mistakes and thn blame it on me
Fake as tupees and its plainly to see
Be catious w who u become involved with it cuz comes up often some will come up off you
For every 1 that love u dozens cross u
Maybe im unlucky never touch a horseshoe
Fight cuz it ends so abrupt you
Really want the last thing you said to be f*ck u?
Cool thas on you you gone deal with the pain
When im gone and it haunts you to hear my my name
And aint shit changed still feeling the same
Like f*ck it b what could be wrong with my brain
I i warned u that im not normal
Got no remorse but i stil got morals
Opened my doors did more locks for you
Sly with the gimmicks
We could die any minute
Its obvious i need a clinic
Watch my sobriety deminish
I finally admit it
Pills had lessened my depression and regrets i just forget them
Now im sober second guessing my decisions if theyre lessons
Sections missing from my sessions
I been distant just to stress it
Sex is different turned a pessimistic
Dickhead with obsessions
Now im fixing my connections
I guess im getting revenge try to even the score
Plenty of friends you dont see anymore
Going to war with noone on your side
Sewing the scars you were trying to hide