I swear I'll never step outside
I'll jot a note down
Listen life turns on a dime
Who's in control now
I'll calm down when my mad's maxed out
Witness the pain
I'm only spitting facts now
No one's to blame
When I'm twitching in the crack house
Kurt and Bourdain
All my heroes give in to the pain
C'mon take your bets
What'll break next
My spirit or my brain
I keep stressing
Really made a mess of things
I tried my best but
I haven't even talked to my mom
It's been a few months
I used to have a calico cat
Until I gave her up
Quiet moments
I swear I can't handle it
The voices get louder
The more I try to smother it
Skeleton on display
No way to cover it
Halfway across the world
I thought I'd get better
A tiger never changes its stripes
A bird its feathers
I can't fight
This cyclical psycho-cynicism
No, I won't bite
I know this faux-pseudo optimism
Wrap myself up
With a bow and a noose knot
F*ck a clean coffin
Toss me into a used plot
Who's got the number for the dude that shot Tupac
I'm goin' full Hunter
Sniff the ether, smoke the reefer
You'll be hearing a gunshot
Maybe not
Somebody finish this job before me
My millennial-mind is lazy and
Perceptions of my life are hazy
It's crazy maybe my friends will go
Leave me coughing blood on the Senate floor
Betrayal and gore
When I reach Heaven's door
I'll curse the man who said my hurt was growth
I'll curse the man
Free will is a sick joke
I'll curse the man
Love and hate, it can't be both
I can't fight
This cyclical psycho-cynicism
No, I won't bite
I know this faux-pseudo optimism
I went for a walk outside
To feel the sunshine
Peer between the trees
And glow behind the skyline
Winter stole the leaves away
It didn't matter
I stayed until the sun sank
Beneath the water
Happiness feels like a dream
An apparition
The days I laughed till I cried
Feel like a fiction
Thought I could endure it all but I couldn't
The only solace I have left
Etched on a bullet