Crr - WHEN I DIE Lyrics

What's your definition of success
I don't trust the thoughts that come inside my head
I don't trust the staining beats inside my chest
Who I am and who I wanna be cannot connect, why?

Don't think I deserve it, you get no respect
I just made a couple mil', still not impressed
Let you down, goes triple platinum, yeah, okay, okay, I guess
Smile for a moment, then these questions start to fill my head, not again

Nothing to me's ever good enough
I could be working for 24 hours a day and think I never did enough
My life is a movie, but there ain't no telling what you're gonna see in my cinema
I wanna be great, but I get in the way of myself

And I think about everything that I could never be, why do I do it though?
Hey, yeah, why you always looking aggravated?
Not a choice, you know I had to make it
When they talk about the greatest, they can probably never put us in a conversation

Like something, then I gotta take it
Write something, then I might erase it
I love it, then I really hate it, what's the problem
Nathan, I don't know

I push away the people that I love the most, why?
I don't want no one to know I'm vulnerable, why?
That makes me feel weak and so uncomfortable, why?
Stop askin' me questions, I just wanna feel alive
Until I die-this isn't Nate's flow
Just let me rhyme, I'm in disguise
I'm a busy person, got no time for lies, one of a kind
They don't see it, I pull out they eyes, I'm on the rise!
(Woo)

They ask me am I okay, they ask me if I'm happy
Are they asking me that be
Cause of the shit that's been thrown at me?
Or am I just a little snappy and they genuinely care?
Doody, most of my life it's just been me and you there
And I continuously stare at pictures of you
I never got to say I love you as much as I wanted to, but I do
Yeah, I say it now when you can't hear me
What the f*ck good does that do me now?
But somehow I know you're near me in presence
Oh, I went and dropped some presents off for Easter
To them two little beautiful boys of yours to try to ease their
Minds a little, and dog, you'll never believe this
But Sharonda actually talks to me now
And everyone else is just tryin' to pick up the pieces
Man, how could you touch so many f*ckin' lives and just leave us?
They say grievance has a way of affectin' everyone different
If it's true, how the f*ck am I supposed to get over you?

I push away the people that I love the most, why?
I don't want no one to know I'm vulnerable, why?
That makes me feel weak and so uncomfortable, why?
Stop askin' me questions, I just wanna feel alive
Until I die-this isn't Nate's flow
Just let me rhyme, I'm in disguise
I'm a busy person, got no time for lies, one of a kind
They don't see it, I pull out they eyes, I'm on the rise!
(Woo)