I'm at my lowest of lows with you
They cannot see what we're going through
I made a promise to Teddy and Danny
That they'd throw confetti when I pop I'm ready
But steadily I been a mess with the proof
Off of my chest with these feelings for you
I'm isolating the feeling I need me some healing
Cause I see it's hurting you too
Look in my eyes and I mean it
When you feel defeated baby I'm feeling that too
F*ck a lot, cuss a lot, fill up the room
With the lies that we live until it turns to truth
And I knew that I couldn't be saved by you
'Cause I had a lover who left me bruised
Those are some wounds that I never could cover
By chasing a lover that's mental abuse
I dream of a paradise at night
I knew that it was over from the look in her eyes
I been screaming in the forest in the dead of the night
Hear her whispers through the trees just to keep me alive
I never rap anymore 'cause you hate it
I'm feeling frustrated my ego inflated
When I made a banger, released it, and made it
But now complications arise
The dead of the night's the only time I feel alive
I'm crawling inside to the cave where I write
The scriptures I'm keeping inside
I'm patiently flashing this light
You never noticed it
I wrote you letters on letters you told me that you were not focusing
Holding in
Words for a while with hope of a smile
'Cause I know you're f*cking him when I'm not home
That's why you go ghost and answer your phone
In minutes for him
For me, a text wasn't wrote
I'm not that stupid you know
But still I'm attached to feeling attacked
I get from my dad all the shit that I have
You'll never know why it hurts me so bad
You'll never get why I'm feeling this sad
You get a dinner with parents, a father and mother
I feel embarrassed mine ain't love each other
I grew up poor in a middle class fantasy
Free lunch for me a whole sack filled with jealousy
I dream of a paradise at night
I knew that it was over from the look in her eyes
I been screaming in the forest in the dead of the night
Hear her whispers through the trees just to keep me alive
Numb to the feeling
Of feeling numb when I'm alone
I'm working constantly it's probably 'cause I don't wanna loathe
I cover up my ears and eyes
So I don't have to face my life
I got a brain I filled with lies
A suicidal paradise
I dream of a paradise at night
I knew that it was over from the look in her eyes
I been screaming in the forest in the dead of the night
Hear her whispers through the trees just to keep me alive
F*ck