Cricket - Red Mage Lyrics

I cast spell a fireball
And burned my stupid eyebrows off
And only left myself with 9 HP
I tried to heal the damage done
Got my wand stuck in the mud
My strength roll won't pass that massive DC

I'm an expert on so many little things
And I've got so many useless skill proficiencies
The fighter and the wizard and the cleric all make fun behind my back
Cause charismas highest stat

I'm a Red Mage in the way that fun
Amateur skill master of none
A sight for those who don't know anything
And I lose my passion so quickly
In things that I thought interest me
It's hard to put it all down in writing

I'll feed you poison but not enough to kill you
And then I'll heal you but not enough to save you
And then I'll hurt you but not enough to make you leave
Oh I can't even mess up explosively

I tried to fill the holes we got
Be adaptive fix our team comp
But it turns out that there's not a lot to fix

I think I'm finally realizing
The world would still work without me
I'm just an overrated bag of tricks

So I'll train the skills I think are neat
My nature, cooking, lock-picking
A plus 1 filling every single box

So I can't banish a Demon Lord
Or face down 15 thousand orcs
But Ill can open any standard lock

Now the dragons started crawling out its lair
But I only have my pyromancy spells prepared
My swordplay under-leveled and I've fallen to my knees
I don't have the skill but I still got the cheese
And I'll save the world cause its fate lies with me

Slaying monsters is my passion
So I'll use my bonus action
Poison coat my jagged knife
As I quickly extinguish your stupid life

I'll feed you poison, but not enough to kill you
And then I'll heal you, but not enough to save you
And when I hurt you it's not enough to make you leave
Oh I can't even mess up explosively