Betty is convinced that she's a buffalo
No one can talk her out of this
Right now she is stampeding in the kitchen
She's bellowing and stamping her fist
She's thoroughly convinced that she's a buffalo
That's the way she's acting today
I kinda wish that Betty the buffalo
Was where the deer and antelope play
Now David is convinced that he's a donkey
Just listen to him bray
He says he's only eating alfalfa sprouts
He's stubborn about everything today
He's thoroughly convinced that he's a donkey
A donkey, that's the way it's going to be
I kinda wish that David the donkey
Wasn't such a donkey with me
Now me I'm convinced that I'm a seagull
Even though I haven't wings to fly
'Cause all I want to eat today is garbage
Chocolate bars and deep dish apple pie
I'm thoroughly convinced that I'm a seagull
That's the way I'm acting today
And if I see the Gulf Island ferry
I'm convinced that I will follow it away