I took off my socks at the end of the day
My girlie she was with me and she fainted dead away
The smell just took her out much faster than a gat
The stench was fully putrid, the rank was foul phat
I threw 'em in the washer and I started up the cycle
I slammed them in the 'chine col' thinkin I was Michael
When the spinnin' was done and the shakin' had stopped
I fully fished 'em out but the smell still dropped me
I couldn't leave 'em wet, at least I had to try
So I opened up the dryer and I threw 'em in to dry
I shut the door tight I and I started my reprieve
But when I pulled the sucka open I just could not believe
So I took a pair of socks and I threw 'em in the dryer
I'm tellin' you straight up and don't call me a liar
I looked and found one sock but I couldn't find the pair
The other one had disappeared and now it isn't there
I searched up and down so I could find the other
Swearin' and cursin' that stupid thing's mother
I cleaned out the filter, even gave it new wire
But the socks were to be found nowhere in that dryer
Next day I took another pair and dunked 'em like a pro
This time I'd be checkin' every minute or so
I slammed the door hard, then waited a little while
Opened it back up and then I went into denial
What was up, was there a hole in my new machine?
Or was this some plot of some facist regime?
Politics or not, I was fully gettin' pissed
'Cause only one foot gets a sock, the other gets dissed
So I took a pair of socks and I threw 'em in the dryer
I'm tellin' you straight up and don't call me a liar
I looked and found one sock but I couldn't find the pair
The other one had disappeared and now it isn't there
I searched and searched my house, I even searched the car
I looked behind the couch but I don't know where they are
There's got to be a whole big pile of socks somewhere
Chillin' without matches, free without a care