Chump - Col' Eatin' Brussels Sprouts Lyrics

I was hungry as a mofo the other night
Walking through the kitchen with no food in sight
Opened up the cupboard, I saw a cereal bowl
But in the box was nothing but a brick of coal
So I turned myself around to look for more food
But it began to seem apparent that I was screwed
The cupboard was bare and of food, I was out
Except for this disgusting plate of brussel sprouts

Col' eatin' Brussels sprouts
Eatin col Brussels sprouts
I'm barely forcing them in my mouth
Col' eatin' Brussels sprouts

Sitting at the table dreading the horrible taste
Why this dilemma with which I am faced?
Don't wanna put 'em where they don't belong
I just don't know what exactly went so wrong
Gagging getting them down without cheese sauce
Nothin' to ease the taste, the salt was lost
Col ralphin' on the toilet after every bite
Why does this have to happen to me every night?

Col' eatin' Brussels sprouts
Eatin col Brussels sprouts
I'm barely forcing them in my mouth
Col' eatin' Brussels sprouts
No matter what I do they're always there
No matter where I go I meet their evil stare
I can't get away from these, my nemesis
Horrbile green spheres that taste like piss
Mashing them, disguising them inside my soup
But what can you do with a bowl of poop?
I'm trapped in a cycle and I can't get out
I guess I'll always be eating Brussels sprouts

Col' eatin' Brussels sprouts
Eatin' col Brussels sprouts
I'm barely forcing them in my mouth
Col' eatin' Brussels sprouts