chloe spells - first2lose Lyrics

F*ck I forgot
Everything that we said
Know you made plans but we know that
I won't see you again
Sorry It doesn't hurt like it used to
Guess im just used to
Indifference
And im okay
I'm okay when I recite it in my head all day
But what is good when I forget?
And what is good when I'm always First to be the one who stays?
And I keep on trying to be better now
But deep down we both know I'm Never okay
I don't want to go to sleep
Where I fear my lucidity
But less than a blue moon
And bluer than the ocean
You're not there when I open my eyes
But I didn't want a happy end
Just a chapter or two more with you
But what is good but good for you?
And what is good when im always first To lose?
And i keep on trying to be better now
But deep down we both know it isn't True
And I hate every day
And how much it feels the same
But I'll keep building to be built
And ready yet for change
Cause I have to be okay
I have to be okay even if i have to remind myself
When I'm not