ChikënFist - Cookies for Dinner Lyrics

Cookies for dinner!
It me favorite food!
Crunchy, chewy, round or square
They always taste real good
When me hear the oven beep
It put me in the mood
To gobble all the cookies up
Cause that's what monsters do

Fire up the oven!
Grease the pan and stir the mix!
I need to get my fix

Me mother say I need a balanced diet every meal
She hid them in a jar, when I was ten I learned to steal
She warned of diabetes, said they'd chop me at the knee
But that's good enough for me!

I had my first cookie in the second grade
By 3rd I ate a pack a day
Now I got myself my own Keebler Elf
Cause I can put a whole gross away
The girly scouts used to visit my house
But I paid with a counterfeit bill...
I had crumbs on my face when the feds took my place
And they locked my sorry ass in jail

But me Cookie Monster!
Me no got restraint!
And I can't be what I ain't

My doctor say I need a balanced diet every meal
But he's a quack, and he don't know how cookies make me feel
He said they'll find me dead within a year, I beg to disagree
Cause they're good enough for me!

And it's cookies for dinner cause it's all I can afford
With the chinawoman bleeding me dry!
Hounding me for rent, but she won't get a cent
Cause I got fired in September, and I'll need to get a tent
And my cheating wife left with the postman
Cause she needs more stability!
If she wanted stability she shouldn't have married a "Cookie" "Monster"
But I'll do what I want
I'm my own monster
I don't got a problem!

Oatmeal Raisin- And you know what?
She acts like she's so much better than me
"Moderation!"
Moderation, my furry blue ass!

That cheating skank said I need a balanced diet every meal
She ran away and took my children Horace and Lucille
I sold my kidney just to eat, now I piss blood each time I sneeze
But they're good enough for me!

I told myself I need a balanced diet every meal
But I've lost so much that cookies are the only thing that's real
My cookie may have crumbled, you'll say my life is not ideal
But it's good enough for me!
Good enough for me...
Good enough for me