dephiniums Video (MV)

Delphiniums blooming from the year before
Wilting to a dull blue, dispersed on the floor
I'm sicker than I have ever been
Choking down prozac and ibuprofen
Leaves turn colours through my camera roll
Through my overgrown bangs a tragedy unfolds
Try not to throw up every comfort food
Try to delay my inescapable ruin
Coming undone
Coming to terms with your terms
And the turns that made me nauseous
Let me lay down I'm exhausted
Evenings all ache
Even to breath eventually
It passes since everything has to
I'll survive only if I'm meant to
Wildfire smoke burdening my lungs
Can't help wondering if there was something I should have done
I can't pretend that it isn't there
I'd be bedridden if I really cared
I need my friends and my colourful clothes
Missed my signal among the rest of the smoke
Broke from gofundmes and therapy
Broke my facade when the rain smiled at me
Coming undone
Coming to terms with your terms
And the turns that made me nauseous
Let me lay down I'm exhausted
Evenings all ache
Even to breath eventually
It passes since everything has to
I'll survive only if I'm meant to
Swallow some pills in place of my pride
I hope I get a longer sleep tonight
Hoping you disappear
In daydreams and nightmares
And that I lose my ability to remember
Bury some feelings and bury some bones
Rid the skeletons in my closet but now I'm alone
Death slept by my bedside but then she left too
Forcing me to move from the dream of not having to
Coming undone
Coming to terms with your terms
And the turns that made me nauseous
Let me lay down I'm exhausted
Evenings all ache
Even to breath eventually
It passes since everything has to
I'll survive only if I'm meant to