Cass Kear - Because of You Lyrics

Wish I could write this song with a positive twist
But I have this fear tying up my wrists
And I just can't fight, find an end in sight
That'll make it make sense
And I know that it's not all men
But one man made me afraid of this
Afraid of love, afraid of trust
Afraid of giving too much
But I wanna trust myself to not fall for the lies and the deceit
Wanna trust myself to believe that I'm worth more than what they see
And even if I trust myself, now I'm still scared that that will change
Because after all these years, the memories still remain
Even after all these years
Why do I still take the blame
I guess I wanna write this song just to write it down
Just to let it go, just to let it out
Just to make you see
This meant more to me than you ever did, and
You were wrong about every single thing
And you'll never laying another hand on me
I know my worth, I won't let me down
And it's been a struggle up till now
But I wanna trust myself to not fall for the lies and the deceit
Wanna trust myself to believe that I'm worth more than what they see
And even if I trust myself, now I'm still scared that that will change
Because after all these years, the memories still remain
Even after all these years
Why do I still take the blame
I'm afraid of intimacy
And the next time a man lays his hands on me
Might send a shiver down my spine
Cause I'm so f*cking terrified
Of what his hands might do
And it's all because of you
You never hit me
But you did so much worse
And you'll never admit it
Cause every time you'd hurt me
You just justified or just denied it
And I may never have the proof
But you know what you did
But I can't keep letting your abuse
Stay under my skin
I know what you did
So I'm gonna trust myself to not fall for the lies and the deceit
Cause I know my worth is not tied
To anything you've done to me
And I finally trust myself now
And if that were to ever change
I'll remember you and me to remind me to walk away
Because after all these years
I know I'm not the one to blame
Finally after all these years
I know I'm not
I know I'm not
I know I'm not the one to blame