Camp Nottingham - Memoir Lyrics

Running around these victory laps
My life is on a track, just waiting for myself to relapse
Just sit back, just relax
And watch the crash, and watch the crash, hey

Yeah
I don't need attention but affection would be nice
I don't need a Lexus but I sure could use some drive
Look in my reflection and I can't see inside, and
The future is perplexing but I think I'll be just fine
(Yeah, damn)
Continuing a bloodline, that's just how it grows
Family tree is full of fruit, and
So the story goes, a young man
Maybe just a kid, I don't know, or
Maybe just a kid, I don't know

Like the wind and water
Mind and matter, I cut the chatter
Life ain't gonna serve it to you, on a silver platter
I'm fine dining, diamond mining
Soul defining, I've gone reassigning
Everything that held meaning over my head
Lately I've been thinking that I'm better off dead
That's just some deep shit I'll leave unsaid, but
Here's a subway token you can ride it deep into my mind
There's a reason I leave it unspoken, but
Maybe it's just poor design
People hopping on and off of this train ride
If you stay with me I can be your guide
I'm just going to have to go and curb my pride

Family full of stars, but
I think my skies are dark
I don't know where it ends
But I know where it starts, oh
Living with it
I ain't super happy but I'm living with it
I ain't found the one but, I'm still searching
I ain't done wondering if this is it, cause
Failure is comfortable, I'm cozy as shit
And if loneliness is an ocean then I'm drowning in it
Memories I'd die, foreign enemies I'd lie for
Take myself to task with amenities, I strive for
Two sides of the coin, feeling like a cyborg
Feel like a fight or someone I could cry for
Lacing up the shoes of my heroes, yeah
I don't want to lose when I devote, yeah

I need some attention but, all I see are walls
And I'm missing it, starting to get withdrawals
And I want to get out more, while I was growing up
I always felt I should wait till I was old
But then I missed summer and it got real cold
Had to wait the next year
I love my family so I went off to college
Felt that's what they wanted
Wanted love but, all I got was a one night stand
Not a fan, why can't we just roll in the sand, God
I think I need a hand, cause I'm dying down here
Just like everyone else, and we can't get out