[ Featuring Mark Limacher ]
A fine romance
With no kisses
A fine romance
My friend this is
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But you're as cold as yesterdays mashed potatoes
A fine romance
You won't nestle
A fine romance
You won't wrestle
I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunts
I never get a chance
This is a fine romance
A fine romance
My good fellow
You take all of that romance
And I'll take that Jell-O
You're calmer than the seals in the arctic ocean
At least they flap their fins to express emotion
A fine romance
With no quarrels
With no insults
And all morals
You're just as hard to land as the Île de France
I never get a chance
This is a fine romance
A fine romance
With almost no kissin'
A fine romance
My friend this is
True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has
We don't have half the thrills as the March of Time hasA fine romance
With no clinches
A fine romance
With no pinches
You never give the orchids I send a glance
No, you like cactus plants
This is a fine romance
