Creature Feature - Such Horrible Things Lyrics

Sit Back Now, Let Me Tell You A Tale

Where Justice Does Not Prevail

About An Ill-Fated Life, So Very Full Of Strife

Where Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right



So



When I Was Born

I Did Surely Scorn

My Proud Parents Name

Then Their Lives Went Down The Drain

Drove Them Insane

My Birth Was A Curse

I Bit The Nurse

Oh, But I Love The Worst



I Deserve To Be Slowly Submersed

Dried Out Then Laid In A Hearse



When I Was Two

I Poured Super Glue

Into My Fathers Hair

As He Sat Unaware

In His Arm Chair

Much To His Dismay

Had To Cut It All Away

Oh, But It Felt Great



I Deserve To Be Cut And Filleted

Then Tossed About In Disarray

Until The Pieces Melt Away



I Am Not A Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems

**Not Quite What He Seems**

Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

It's Exactly What It Seems



When I Was Four

I'd Wait By The Door

With A Knife In My Hand

And A Most Devious Plan

It Would Be Quite Grand

As The Mail Fell Through The Slot

The Sharp Edge He Got

Oh, But I Like The Thought



I Deserve To Be Tied In A Knot

Broken Bones And Blood Clots



When I Was Six

I Used To Trick

The Next Door Neighbors Son

In The Woods We Would Run

Time For Fun

Hide And Seek Has A Cost

He Would Be Forever Lost

Oh, But I Love To Scoff



I Deveserve To Have My Head Lopped Off

Hidden And Covered In Moss

Until This Memory's Forgot



I Am Not A Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems

**Not Quite What He Seems**

Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

It's Exactly What It Seems



When I Was Eight

I Used To Hate

The Color Of My House

So As Quite As A Mouse

I Burned It Down

To The Ground

When No One Was Around

Oh, But I Love The Sound



I Deserve To Be Quickly Put Down

Rotting Six Feet Underground



When I Was Ten

I Used To Pretend

To Drown In The Sea

Till They Come And Rescue Me

Then Preceed

To Laugh In Their Face

Such A Disgrace

Oh, But I Love The Taste



I Deserve To Have My Brains Displaced

All Over The Fireplace

Until This Life Has Been Erased



I Am Not A Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems

**Not Quite What He Seems**

Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

It's Exactly What It Seems



When I Was Twelve

I Used To Delve

Into Evil Schemes

Just To Illicit Screams

Boost My Self Esteem

Pushed My Sister Down A Well

She Just Fell

Oh, But I Love To Dwell



I Deserve To The Roast Deep Down In Hell

When No One Can Hear Me Yell



When I Was Fourteen



Nothing Much Happened



Well, There Was That One Time



I Am Not A Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems

**Not Quite What He Seems**

Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

It's Exactly What It Seems



When I Was Sixteen

Life Was Frightening

My Brother Was Quiet Dull

So With Laughter In My Skull

Pushed Him In A Hole

Then Buried Him Alive

He Barely Survived

Oh, But I Love The Cries



I Deserve To Be Battered And Fried

In An Electric Chair That's Set On High



Now That I'm Eighteen

I Still Hate Things

From This Padded Cell I Call My Home

No Friends, No Phone

No Life To Call My Own



Here I Will Lie

Until The Very Day I Die

Until My Blood Begins To Dry

And I Return To The Darkness From Whence I Came



So



I Am Not A Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems



Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

I'm Exactly What I Seem