Cledus T. Judd - How Do You Milk a Cow Lyrics

Parody of "How Do You Like Me Now" by Toby Keith (Toby Keith/Chuck Cannon) Tokeco Tunes/Wacissa River Music (admin. by MRBI) (BMI)
New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music, Inc. (SESAC)

Yeah I was always the lazy one,
A Southern Californian,
But I've got some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line.
So this summer just for fun
Hopped in my DeLorean
And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time.

I thought that I would be huntin' and fishin'.
I misunderstood him somehow.
So far there's nothin' but chores here to mention.
I didn't mind feedin the sows.

But HOW DO YOU MILK A COW?
How do you milk a cow?
I wasn't in FFA.
This cow must think i'm crazy
Up under it this way.
I'm sittin' here a pullin', but there ain't nothin' comin' out.
Oh E I E I O…
How do you milk a cow?

Yeah I love it here in Tennesse,
But these farmers all make fun of me.
Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car.
So I got myself a 4 wheel drive,
Learned to spotlight deer at night,
And I've got shearin' sheep right down to an art.

One thing's for sure,
I hate shovelin' manure,
It gets all over my overalls.
Them horses need shoein'
I hear Bessie mooin'.
So I thought maybe I'd ask you all.

HOW DO YOU MILK A COW?
How do you milk a cow?
I think it's safe to say
A man could get arrested for this in LA
This heifer must be empty 'cause she ain't puttin out.
Oh E I E I O,
Tell me how do you milk a cow.

(Spoken)
This song is absolutely an "udder" disaster.
I hope I don't get mad cow diease.

How do you milk a cow?
I no longer care.
I'm gettin sick and tired of smellin' dairy air.
I'm headin' back to Cali
And I'm turnin' in my plow.
Oh E I E I O.
How do you milk a cow?