Burden - Addiction Lyrics

Let me start like this, I've been fighting addiction, for 6 1/2 years, it's my prison,
I can't ask for help,
Afraid I'll be judged,
The world I live ins just gotta keep spinning,
I keep it from friends, and they know what I'm hidin,
They want me quit, and believe I been tryin,
If I take a sip, just know that I slipped,
And I know that I'm killing myself, and I'm dying,
But I feel the pride, when I say That I'm sober,
Last time I tried was around October,
When the leaves change and I see change,
Then I need change,
-we just keep gettin older,
Man this Shit is poison,
-Sick and tired of looking in the mirror and feeling disappointment,
Do I make the choices?, -or is it controlling me
Takin its toll on me,
I used to use it to escape,it made me feel great
But now I feel trapped,
And Now I feel alone, and no one even knows,
If I'm holdin strong, or if I relapsed,
Today I stay clean, tonight I lose sleep,
And everyone around me still gettin High,
Intoxicated, impaired and faded, that's never changin, I don't know why,

I got a couple days into sobriety,
You should be proud of me, this is a start, but you tell me I say this shit all of the time,
It's all in my mind, I want out of the dark,
-don't let em peep that I'm weak,
My clothes are dirty, I sleep in the street,
I'm knowing there's so many people like me,
Yet I feel alone and it's easy to see,

Lacking my confidence, tellin myself I'm not good enough, even began to believe,
But I stand to my feet,
Spit in face of the devil,
Extinguish the fire from hell and I leave,
This ain't who I wanted to be,
This ain't how I thought it would feel,
Then I end up pouring a drink,
And I end up poppin a pill,
I sit at home all alone and I cry when I think,
Just knowing that all of its real, Cant nobody help and Can't nobody quit it but me,
Withdrawals are hot on my heels,
But I try to make it,
Through the trembles and shakin,
Laying there wide awake, I don't know how to take it,
Can't eat, but I'm hungry, my stomach is vacant, waitin,
How long will it last before all of it pass,
And my body is healthy and right,
Well that's only half of the battle,
The rest will be mental,
It could be rest of your life,
But you know it's worth it,
And To hell what everybody thinks, you got to keep workin,
Let the past be the past, cause ain't nobody perfect,
Not a soul on this earth is
Nobody is
See I'm not a bad person, don't look at me different just because I told you these things,
And know this,
My greatest moments could never be my greatest moments without my greatest defeats