I hate my lawn, it sucks, gets longer every day
Especially when it rains so I went and found a way to make it go away, mmm hmmm
For maybe five or seven days, anyway
Oh it's a little red machine, it's got a blade and runs on gas
I pull it and it starts and aww hell it kicks ass
I bought it on sale fifty bucks and it was mine
It even f*ckin' mulches and I use it all the time and so could you
You gotta buy one too, 'cause you can't use mine
It eats the grass, the weeds, the trash it eats the bees
If I ain't f*ckin' careful it'll prob'ly eat me
People come to see it, from very far away
They all want to touch it but I tell 'em no way
It was assembled when I bought it, so many years ago
So I could use it right away as soon as I got home
I really love it it's a super awesome little red machine
You should get one too, then you could be like me and mow your lawn
Your grass is too long, and it don't look good
Only crazy people go and cut their grass a couple days before it rains, that's right
Water makes it grow you stupid jerk ya gotta use your little brain, yeah
Only crazy people go and cut their grass a couple days before it rains, you suck
Water makes it grow you stupid jerk ya gotta use your f*ckin' brain, use your brain
It's outa gas now people, mmm hmmm
And so I need to fill it, yeah
Mmm I'll take it nice and slow
And be careful not to spill it, no
It's my little red machine, and aww hell it kicks ass
I bought it on sale so that I could cut my grass
I really love it and it's awesome and I use it all the time
You should get one too because you can't use mine hell no
You need to go and get your own, because you can't use mine
Go mow your lawn, your grass is too long