Oh, Bob, bring me mints
And bring back the tropical mix
It sells for six hundred dollars
On websites I won't click
Bring back the grape
Bring back the lime
And everything else
Because, Bob, spearmint just won't cut it
For a different flavor of mint
Bob, you made it as the first candy
To be wrapped in cellophane
Bob, you persevere through the tornado
That destroyed your place
Bob, you're everything to me
So don't ever go away
You will be loved by the cult
Every single day!
Oh, Bob, in all your merman glory
I feel worthy of your love
You didn't save me, but you made me
Finally have the confidence to save myself
When the world is a hellscape
Sometimes the only constant is peppermint love
And when time eats our souls
Bob, I hope mine tastes like peppermint candy